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so this was obviously hard
By ryan
9/13/2007 7:38:12 PM
Step 1 - Action Step — Become willing to abstain
I realized that this was gonna be the hardest part of recovery. For a long time I didn't want to abstain. This is what made me happy. Just like everyone says when the pain of the problem become worse then the pain of the solution I decided that I would need to do something. So I realize now that the requirement wasn't abstaining but becoming willing to abstain. When I thought about abstaining I just knew that I couldn't do it. But after realizing that all I needed to do was have a desire then I thought well I have had a desire just not all the time. So I decided that I would try to have that desire all the time. Even when I was tempted though I would sometime lose that desire. But because I went to the Lord and told him I was willing to abstain I believe that he made up the difference for me. This in no way means that once I made the choice that I never had a problem again. But the one thing that I did notice was that before I would have this feeling of inevitability that I would mess up again. I just knew it. I didn't know how long it would take. Now I don't have that feeling or better yet that feeling has been replaced by a feeling of hope. My life is far from perfect and there are many reasons for me to relapse but I know that I don' t have to. I also know that even if I do I will be one step closer still to defeating this.

Comments:

"Ya gotta wanna wanna"    
"I don't remember where I heard this phrase but I believe it was sometime shortly after I began my recovery. I think about it now quite often. Sometimes I don't "wanna" be good. But do I "wanna wanna" be good? If I WANT to WANT to be good, that is enough, and as you said, the Lord can make up the difference if you take that desire to Him in prayer and seek his help. He will increase that desire."
posted at 20:28:43 on September 16, 2007 by derek


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"Brothers and sisters, stay on the straight and narrow path. No, stay in the middle of the straight and narrow path. Don't drift; don't wander; don't dabble; be careful. Remember, do not flirt with evil. Stay out of the devil's territory. Do not give Satan any home-field advantage. Living the commandments will bring you the happiness that too many look for in other places. "

— Larry W. Gibbons

General Conference October 2006