Will Talking to my Bishop postpone my mission?
By sinwithsatan
9/27/2011 4:33:49 AM
I first joined this site two years ago... I was 16. My problem then as well as my problem now has been an addiction to Masturbation and Pornography. However much I wanted to quit back then, it just wasn't enough. The desire to quit hasn't been strong enough to overcome my addiction. As I look back now at the last two years, my sins with immorality have stayed the same. It's funny how many times I thought I was going to quit, but just never put in any TRUE effort. As well as my addiction, I have ran into even more serious transgressions. In the past year I have not had sexual intercourse with girls, but have done things which are a long the lines of it. Sexual stimulation with clothes on, touching girls in private places underneath their clothes..

I am 18 now. Recently graduated from high school, moved out on my own with college students, living not too far from home. Since I've moved out has been the time when the worst of these actions have occurred. I'm preparing to go on a mission.. I go to institute, I attend all my church meetings, I hold a call as a ward missionary. But I have messed up a few times since I have been out on my own.

Right now I have never had more of the desire to throw away my sins and addiction! I Will Give Place No More To The Enemy Of My Soul!!! I really do believe that. I have been clean for a while now. And will continue on. I hope and I pray to Heavenly Father that this drive within me will not cease. That I may be able to rely on him. That he will make my weak things become strong. I trust and have faith that with Him, I can truly be forgiven and can overcome the temptations thrown at me. I am ready to be clean! I know I must repent. To be truly forgiven. That is what I want. To have this burden lifted off me.

I am 18 right now. I can turn in my mission papers in December of this year. I want to serve a mission so badly. All my brothers have served. I've seen the happiness, humility, and relationship with God and the Savior a mission brings. I want that in my life. It is the one thing in my life I want the most..

My father is the Bishop of my home ward. I have another amazing Bishop here in my singles ward. I know I need to go to them.. But will telling them of my recent transgressions postpone me going on a mission?


Same Situation    
"I am literally in the exact same situation, same mistakes and same problems to the T. I just talked to my student ward Bishop for the first time on Sunday. I've been clean for about a month and a half and he says I can start the mission process in 2 months on December 1st, however I know all Bishops react differently and it also depends on the individual situation. I encourage you to meet with your Bishop ASAP, trust me, he sees people for the same thing every week, especially if your in a YSA ward. Call or email him and see if you can meet with him during the week. We've got conference this week so you might not be able to meet with him on Sunday. The sooner you meet, the more likely you can turn your mission papers in on time.

I lucked out and got a really great Bishop who understands the addiction side. If your Bishop doesn't suggest it, ask specifically if you can meet with him weekly. It does wonders to holding you accountable.

I'm not positive if it's the same for everybody, but for me, the 2 month waiting period resets if I slip, so I'm trying to be diligent in not relapsing. It's a lot easier for me because I'm at a church school, so a lot of the triggers I had before are pretty much obsolete. I used to watch rated R movies with my friends every so often, and without fail, regardless of my will before the movie, I would slip the night after watching it, whether or not it had any s~x/nudity. Even talking dirty with friends or joking about stuff like that would be enough to force the Spirit out and make me lose my willpower. Those are just a few examples but basically what I'm trying to say is that avoiding the triggers, and I think you probably know what they are, is one of the biggest things to resisting the temptation. In fact, by avoiding the triggers I havn't really had very much temptation either.

After all that, you need to keep in mind that even more important than being able to turn your mission papers in on time is ending the problem so you're worthy to return to live with your Father in Heaven. Rushing now or not completely resolving the problem will only hurt you in the long run. The mission won't solve the issue, I've been reading posts on here a lot and guys that were in our situation years ago were clean on their missions but started up again afterwards. Just end it now so it will never be a problem in the future, even if you have to wait a month or so to turn in your papers. It's just not worth it.

Finally I reccomend looking at the advice people have put on my blogs, they changed the way I thought about my problem and the way I am going about fixing it, and it seems like we basically have the same problem, so I think it would benefit you just as much too.

Good luck and hang in there bro. Pray daily, read your scriptures, and trust in the Lord. This is totally possible to end now.

posted at 16:55:15 on September 27, 2011 by PaulThomas
Way to go guys...    
"You're both on the right track. There are worse things in life than postponing a mission until you are clean. It will be worth it. Take your ARP manual with you on your mission and make it a part of your study. Fill your Mission President in and be accountable. He will admire your strength as you continue in your recovery...count the days. Stay strong and keep us in the loop."
posted at 20:28:39 on September 27, 2011 by chefdalet
Great idea CHEFDALET    
"many, many missionaries struggle with masturbation (not porn) on their missions.
looking back, I wish I had the strength and confidence to share that struggle with my companions. by going to as many 12 step meetings as you can now.. you will grow in confidence... and power... and I believe you will be able to touch the hearts of many of the men in the world because of it.

think about it.. if you can't talk openly, honestly about a struggle that everyone has... and learn how to apply god's wonderful grace to your recovery...

how are you going to help the literally thousands of men out there..

How about this for a door approach?

Hi, we are messengers sent from Jesus Christ.
We can teach you about a power that can rescue you from any addiction -- pornography, alcohol, anger, etc..
Will you allow us to come in or come back another time?

It's funny to me that as missionaries we extend the hand of grace/mercy to all those we come in contact with... but often not to ourselves... and to our companions.

satan works in darkness.. not in the light. I pray for the day.. that missionaries can check-in with each other...and pray for each other in that way...

I am on the verge of doing this in Elders Quorum prayers... as I am now in the presidency of the elders quorum and feel like it's overdue.. to specifically pray for this protection for each other."
posted at 01:01:13 on September 28, 2011 by gracefull
Oh ye sons of Mosiah and Alma    
"I feel to say that I am blessed to have these posts in front of me. I feel all of your strength and sincerity and your faith. It is as if I am companions with Ammon, Aaron, Omni and Himner and Alma the younger. George Romney, the father of Mitt Romney said this- "only the wounded are in the armies of the Lord. You guys are generals in my book. Keep up the fight. We have a common enemy and it seems that he is winning the battle.

At the age of 18 you are in a unique position to reach out to your old priests quorum. You probably know more then their Bishop when it comes to knowing what goes on in a young boys personal life- his struggles with porn, masturbation and petting. In our world, everything has become sexualized, even a friendly dance at the YM/YW stake dances can be highly arousing. Our young women are being swept up in this battle as well. Our Deacons have to be taught on how to pass the Sacrament and not be distracted by a young or older sister's cleavage or hiked up skirts. Add to this the highly sexualized enviornment in High School! What an age we live in!!!!!

Go to your Singles Ward Bishop first. Bring your AR manual with you. In fact, bring an extra copy for him and invite him out to a meeting. He needs to be brought up to speed. We are dong this in our area. Even the Stake President now has his own copy and is reading the Book "He Restoreth My Soul" by Dr./Bro. Hilton

God Bless Us Everyone!"
posted at 08:12:44 on September 28, 2011 by 3R's
Raise your personal title of liberty    
"Im 18 as well and its astonishing how so many of us are in the same boat. Im trying to prepare for a mission as well and now Im feeling so scared that I won't be able to get over this before. This has helped me out a lot recently and I hope it helps you.
Raise your own personal title of liberty! Literally! haha find a shirt you don't care about and turn it into your own title of liberty! "In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our wives, and our children (in the future for us)." Put it somewhere you'll see it and remember it.
Be strong brother.
Pray for each other and I will pray for you."
posted at 15:00:17 on September 28, 2011 by how can i be
A great website for young men.    
"You might find this helpful! Keep up the fight. We need you. The Lord need you. Do not let P&M steal your promise. You are so important!!

I think you will find this website helpful also.

Prayers to both of you young men!"
posted at 21:57:43 on September 28, 2011 by Hero
Another great site...    
"I'm guessing you guys have iPhones or iPods. has some great daily tools that you can download and listen to.
He has a podcast called 104 where he gives two tips per week about overcoming the addiction."
posted at 21:20:08 on September 29, 2011 by chefdalet
set some discipline    
"To the original poster. i just joined this site today and I am loving the postings. Addiction is a pain in the butt. Yes. This is a good time for you!! There are plenty of guys who didn't know all the resources or even other addicts that existed until AFTER they were married!! You are battling, being trained, learning skills BEFORE your mission. honestly, feel greatful.

About the bishop....TALK TO HIM AT ONCE. When I was a freshman i college, my routine was: do school, do homework, look at porn/M, go work out. next day; REPEAT. Then over Christmas break I realize....crap I am not worthy for a mission. So I did the first thing that changed my life. I got into a positive routine. I got up early every morning and read the Book of Mormon. It brought me to tears several times. I gained a true testimony that has not diminished. Then I decided to confess to the Bishop. I was TERRIFIED!! There is no easy way around that, but get over it!!! What do you think he is going to do?? throw you out. "punk kid, pervert, go home and repent" No Way!! My bishop at that time, came around his desk and hugged me. I felt so good!! I went home and cried for 20 minutes straight...uncontrollably.

Sadly, I have struggled since....the other posts are right that if you don't train diligently every day you are just going to get back into it after the mission.

Who cares if the mission is postponed a bit. Being ready and prepared is more important. You have to get involved. Get into a recovery group. Just go. NO ONE WILL JUDGE YOU. If they's their issue. Begin thinking/living like a missionary now!! Get rid of TV. Stop watching lame movies. Pray 15 times a day on every hour. i set alarms on my phone. Read scriptures every morning. Give up trying to be cool and smooth and impressing everyone in this world. Only seek to impress God. Set a goal on how to beat Satan every night before you go to bed. Plan how you will defeat him. I like the title of liberty idea!! Captain Moroni felt it no sin to defend by strategm. He whooped on the Lamanites. He spent years building his cities.

December is 100 days away. Surrender to get help. We recovering addicts are wimpy nephites but if we accept the trainings of others....we will become mightly, unbeatable warriors!!!!!"
posted at 14:54:18 on October 1, 2011 by Warrior
There are many great points on this thread!    
"I know this thread is older (seeing that the last post is from 2011) but just thought I'd leave my appreciation for the words that were written. I also use to have an addiction problem and had repented but made the mistake again. It wasn't easy, but overtime I realized the reason why I kept making the same mistake. For me it took daily scripture study to overcome the addiction as well as prayer, fasting and etc. I soon realized what true repentance was and it helped me have a desire to sin no more!

The post above me totally has the right idea! To be honest I've never read the whole BoM in its entirety by myself daily and completed it (I'm doing the 30-Day BoM challenge). But as I'm getting closer to the completion of my goal I just feel like I have learned so much. It has changed my thought process for the better. I honestly feel that the whole "thought leads to actions" is true. It isn't easy keeping my mind clean but as I have strived to do so it has become easier to not have those thoughts and stay clean. Anyway, my whole post might not make the best sense but I know for sure that I am thankful for the atonement! I know that as long as you strive to be your best and pray often for guidance as well as do the things that will uplift your spirit, you can overcome sin!"
posted at 15:27:29 on July 18, 2012 by Anonymous
"Hi, I read your post, but not any of the responses, so forgive me if I sound redundant.

You're story isn't far off from mine 10+ years ago.
What I would say is, who cares if it post pones it. I know that is easier to for me to say, but what you don't want to do is white knuckle sobriety through two years of missionary service to come home and binge and still be addicted years later when you have a wife and me.

I would strongly recommend to anyone is the book "He restoreth my soul" it is fantastic. I felt like the whole thing described me to a T. You are not alone. You don't have to suffer alone and you CAN'T beat this alone!!!!!!!
I finally admitted that at the beginning of this year and I now have had complete sobriety for over 7 months. It may not sound like much to some, but that to me is a miracle. Bishop's, professional counseling, a loving wife and the Atonement are what is making it possible. Read the book if you can. Don't know if it will help, but it helped me."
posted at 00:38:49 on August 1, 2012 by WHATTODO2
I will join the group.    
"I am struggling through my addiction with M/Porn. Attended everything my entire life and masturbated since the age of 9. Today i talked with my bishop and it was the greatest experience that i have ever had. DO NOT DELAY. I was worried about having to tell my parents and so i waited it i was 18 years old to tell anyone about my issues.

With much love and support good luck with anyone else who stumbles onto these forums you can do this!"
posted at 22:45:27 on May 31, 2015 by Anonymous
so glad to hear!    
"Anonymous I am so glad to hear of your victory. Keep up the good work and with His help you will get to where he wants you to be"
posted at 16:18:14 on June 1, 2015 by sjanderson

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"I need not define your specific problem to help you overcome it. It doesn’t matter what it is. If it violates the commandments of the Lord, it comes from Satan, and the Lord can overcome all of Satan’s influence through your application of righteous principles. Please understand that the way back is not as hard as it seems to you now. Satan wants you to think that it is impossible. That is not true. The Savior gave His life so that you can completely overcome the challenges you face. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990