Pre-emptive Strike
By derek
9/21/2006 1:33:20 PM
I really appreciate the comments in your last blog, Josh. I had one of those days yesterday. Actually the hardest day since I began my journey of repentance. I had gotten ZERO sleep the night before and was in a weakened state of spirit and mind because of that and some other things that had happened with my wife's struggles. Anyway, I was getting barraged and also seeking out what I call Satan's bread crumbs. I really need to blog about bread crumbs, but basically they're the little diversions that he puts along the strait and narrow path hoping we'll step off to investigate and end up following it to the next bread crumb and the next, until finally he's got us so far off the path that we're lost and can't even see it. I guess they're the "baby steps" of sin. So anyway, there I was, seeking those out this time to a degree I hadn't done in the last 4+ months. It was a constant series of battles all day, repeatedly REMEMBERING what I am doing and climbing back up on the strait and narrow path, but it just kept getting harder and harder.

That afternoon, I was laying on my bed trying to get some sleep in the afternoon and couldn't because my mind was getting assaulted by Satan's troops. Finally, in desperation, I realized I had to go on the offensive. So I pulled out my journal, wrote a nasty letter to Satan telling him to "get thee hence" and reclaiming my agency. Then I prayed and asked desperately for help and read the scriptures again. I knew what I had to do next. I had to go get rid of any media I could find in our house that had Satan's influence on it. CDs, DVDs, computer games, videos, I went through them all. Obviously I got rid of all my "stash" of pornography a long time ago, but I realized there are many other things that probably have Satan's stamp of approval on them. Madonna (yes, I'll admit it, I actually had a Madonna CD), Gin Blossoms, Collective Soul, Firehouse, Poison, Half-Life, R-rated Saving Private Ryan and Legends of the Fall, etc, etc, etc. It's not like these had been actively afflicting my spirituality; as a matter of fact, it had been a long time since I'd done anything with any of the media I threw out. Nevertheless, they became the victims of my own pre-emptive strike against Satan. When I was done, the carnage lay in plastic trash bags out in the garage. The rest of the day was much better. Going on the offensive helped renew my resolve, and my desire to remain clean.

I barely escaped the day with my day-count intact. But I did escape and lived to fight another day. There is still much of the war that remains to be fought, but yesterday, in a pre-emptive strike, I won a major battle.


Bread Crumbs    
"I really like your analogy of bread crumbs. I can really relate to that. it reminds me of Nephi's words: "...he (satan) leadeth them away *carefully* down to Hell." (2 Ne 28:21) I admire you're willingness to get rid of so many things - even those things that are not necessarily pornography but detract from the spirit nonetheless. I'm sure I could stand to get rid of quite a few of those things myself I've spent the day today avoiding those little bread crumbs, and the day has been great - not because of what I have or haven't done, but what the Lord has done for me. I have to say I'm a little disappointed though - Madonna? Really? :-) Ok, I admit it - I have (or at least had, I don't think I do anymore) a madonna cd in my collection as well. I had to get rid of quite a few of my CDs awhile ago after I heard my six year old walking around the house signing Green Day songs. Anyway, a very sincere kudos on the victory yesterday. "
posted at 15:40:09 on September 21, 2006 by josh

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"Lucifer will do all in his power to keep you captive. You are familiar with his strategy. He whispers: “No one will ever know.” “Just one more time.” “You can’t change; you have tried before and failed.” “It’s too late; you’ve gone too far.” Don’t let him discourage you. When you take the path that climbs, that harder path of the Savior, there are rewards along the way. When you do something right, when you resist temptation, when you meet a goal, you will feel very good about it. It is a very different kind of feeling than you have when you violate commandments—an altogether different feeling. It brings a measure of peace and comfort and provides encouragement to press on. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990